New Year, Better Skincare Goals
With the New Year, many of us are looking for positive habits to incorporate into our lives. Many clients are coming to me and wanting to either get started on a skincare journey or wanting to step up their existing one. It can be great to use the momentum of the New Year to hone in your skin goals, so let's use January to lay the groundwork for healthy skin.
Now, I used to be a very New Year, New Me type of gal, but have realized that this is not the outlook I want in life. There are several reasons, and I go into more detail in this other post. But for the purpose of creating a skincare routine, if we don't set up realistic expectations, we're setting ourselves for failure. Therefore, the focus of this post is not to change you completely. Rather, we'll focus on growth and on setting you up for success. Laying the groundwork for a good skincare routine is not about drastically changing everything or suddenly buying 20 products.
Healthy skin takes knowing your skin, learning to read the messages your skin tells you about what it needs (or doesn't need), building a routine that works for you (and that you're consistent with), but most importantly, it takes being realistic about your goals and what you want the results to look like.
I've talked about the basic skincare routine: cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen. For many of us, that's more than enough. Anything else is the icing on the cake.
If you're new to skincare, it's important to lay a strong foundation. Not only is it about picking the right products, but about making sure that your goals are realistic. If you're not accustomed to using anything, I advise you against going all out and getting yourself a 10 step routine (I'd never advise this, but you get the point). Start with an achievable goal/habit.
A word on habits…
An important thing about building habits is that you want to have a clear goal. And this goal should actually be relevant to you. Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist at Stanford University, has found that if your goals or New Year Resolutions are based on what other people are doing or on some random societal expectation, this isn't likely to stick. It needs to have a deeper meaning for you. For example, you may want to look better in a bathing suit, so exercise is your goal. This may not have any significant meaning to you, so rather, you focus on being healthy because your goal is to be present for your family in the long term. And that's certainly a stronger goal.
Before we go any further, think about why you want to establish a skincare routine. Take two minutes to identify your true goal.
Once you've established your true goal, build your environment in a way that facilitates meeting it. For example:
Have your products visible to serve as a reminder (keep your SPF next to your toothpaste or your cleanser next to your soap)
Keep a picture of your family next to your workout gear
Are you being realistic about what you’re expecting?
Now that you've set up realistic goals, let's talk about realistic outcomes. Many of my clients ask me what their routine should look like if they're looking for perfect skin. I cringe at the statement perfect skin. But I get it, that used to be me as well. I tried anything that was sold to me with the promise of flawless and perfect skin.
But here are some reasons why this belief is flawed:
Genetics: I'm sorry but you can't change this! Regardless of what you do to your skin, at the end of the day your results are limited. You can improve the look by keeping it healthy, but because perfect is so subjective, it will look different for each one of us
Moreover, can you actually define what perfect skin is? I’d argue that it’s really about healthy skin, and this will look different for everyone
Everyone has their own insecurities. Even the person you're thinking about with that "perfect skin" has their own insecurities. Whatever your definition of perfect is, I bet you it's different from theirs. For me, it used to be skin without pores (impossible by definition, btw). But for that person who I thought didn't have any pores (again, not true), they might be hoping for skin that isn't so dry (very likely for those whose pores are less visible)
The idea of perfection is a marketing trick that preys on our insecurities (very disproportionately on women's)
Healthy skin is more than topical products
Another thing to consider regarding expectations and outcomes is the realistic results you can achieve with skincare alone. Topical products can be wonderful and yield great results, within what they really do, which is affecting the top layer of our skin. No over the counter product is going to be able to achieve what an invasive cosmetic procedure will or even what devices can do (like microcurrent or LED).
I can't ignore the fact that a lot of the unrealistic expectations we have regarding skin are centered around ageism. We're terrified of aging and what this entails, especially for women, as if we're less worthy or valuable the older we get. We're inevitably going to age, and with age comes changes to our skin. I hope we continue to work towards changing this belief within our society!
Additionally, skin health is not just about the topical products you're using on your skin. Your overall health plays a role in determining how your skin looks. Consider your sleep patterns, stress levels, diet practices, exercise habits, etc. You can have the perfect routine, with the best products out in the market, but if you don't sleep enough, stress is through the roof, or even smoke, for example, your skin will reflect all of this!
Results are not overnight! Some products might give you immediate plumpness and a feeling that something is different, but in reality, the good results are not always immediate. For example, using SPF is not going to give you skin free of fine lines and sun spots overnight, but it will prevent future damage and help your other products work better.
Tips to help you appreciate your skin and embrace realistic expectations:
As we've determined, setting ourselves for success is important. But this process takes time, and as our skin journey develops, we will very likely be confronted with our own negative thoughts. This is detrimental to our growth, so instead, I share with you a different approach to healing your relationship with your skin.
Here are some practices that may help when thinking about your skin's journey. Whenever the negative self-talk arises, you can use any of these tactics to help you find your way back to your goals.
Words of affirmation: instead of pointing out all your flaws every time you look in the mirror, name at least one positive and beautiful thing about your face (I started with my eyes and have slowly moved towards less obvious things like the skin in my cheeks)
Self-compassion: I'm learning more about this, but so far I'm loving it. Kristin Neff is a leading researcher in this area and she outlines three things to keep in mind:
Mindfulness: whenever the inner critic comes out (that voice telling you your pores are too big), notice it. Practice until you strengthen your awareness and you'll be more able to identify these negative thoughts arising
Common humanity: realize that we all have common struggles. How many more people aren't feeling insecure about their pores? I'm obviously not alone! (ps. One of the unintended positives of being an esthetician is realizing how EVERYONE has their insecurities and it doesn't matter that I don't see what's wrong, they will. So many clients come complaining about all the blackheads in their skin, most have almost nothing. Or they come concerned about all the wrinkles in their face, and they're just 21 so you can imagine the lack of wrinkles)
Kindness: how would you respond to a friend who has a similar thought? Probably much kinder than how you react to yourself. Kindness is about recognizing your imperfections (hello, we've all got them, we're human remember?) and being gentler and more accepting with yourself
BTW, if you're afraid that this approach leads to complacency, research indicates the contrary! Because self-compassion is different from self-indulgence and in fact it leads to more motivation for growth in a safer and more sustainable way!
So what can you do?
If you're new to skincare, start with a basic routine: find a cleanser, moisturizer, and SPF you like and actually will use
Avoid buying products for the sake of buying them. If you're new, stick to the basics (above). If you're more experienced, ask yourself if you're ready for the next step before adding another layer
Define what your skin goals are: prevention, keeping acne under control, targeting sunspots, etc. (More on this to come!)
Commit to your routine. Build the habit of using the products daily as skincare takes persistence
Find accountability. I'm a huge proponent of this (because I myself need A LOT). Some ways to do this:
Phone apps: there are several apps that you can use to track your habits. I love seeing a streak of achievements so this helps me a lot! Here are a couple of good ones:
Get an accountability buddy: someone that you check in with every day to make sure that you've achieved your goal (ehm, used SPF)
Be gentle with yourself and your skin journey!